urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mylittlejackiemylittlejackiemylittlejackiemylittlejackie2038-01-19T03:14:07Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mylittlejackie:21366i was told maybe i should write in this2038-01-19T03:14:07Z2038-01-19T03:14:07Zfor the past few weeks I have been through what I call alot..... <br />having the fiance home for 30 days which was great but then having him leave took a toll on me<br />starting grad school...in the middle of him being home<br />now I would like to move out from home because the drive to and from work is super long as well as the drive to school and I just would like to live with a friend before I dive into marriage life and also I need the support of a friend at this time or some kind of support in which I am not necessarily getting at home.... <br /><br />having a fiance or even boyfriend long distance is hard and every time I see him it gets even harder cause I know I can only be with him for a certain amount of time and then hes gone and all I have is the phone or internet contact and even that contact can be ruined.....his puter croaked when he was home so bye bye internet....I ran up my cell phone so bye bye cell phone for the most part...we can talk on the house phone when im home and hes free which has kinda worked out... Im hopefully going to visit him in germany for xmas/new yrs which will be nice if all goes well.... if not i probably wont get to see him until as early as may which will be hard...2 and a half months was hard enough i couldnt imagine 8-9 months... <br /><br />I am at a point in my life where things arent going the way I had hoped they would.... I wish I had a teaching job right now, but unless I decide to move away from rochester I dont see a job happening anytime soon... I wanted to be out of my parents house but still am not because of school, car and lack of teaching job... Now that I am engaged I would have hoped to be living with my fiance but cant because he is in germany in the army serving our country..im sure there are people in the same situation as me and part of me to just get away from it all would get married asap and live in germany and go to school there... just to feel like I belong or am loved.... I have tons more that I should get off my chest but I really need to sleep so I can go to school and work